I suffer. I learn. I protect.

Who says life is fair? It is obviously unfair to me. I just lost someone I love so much.
I always had this dream, a dream that I sit and wait for it to come true.
I wish to breath. Breath how?
When he's around, no air is fresh, no ground is solid, no water is clear.
When he's around, I play dead. I don't even dare look at him.
But when I do, I'll get a peek of hell. I see everyone around him suffer when I look into his eyes.
He makes lives of people around him hell. He does.
For once, I long to breath fresh air, stand proud on solid ground, enjoy clear water for all I want.
I suffer?
I suffer by looking helplessly as my mother suffer. There was nothing much I could do. I was young and naive, I still am. He shouts, he throws stuff at us, the way he looks at us is like looking at criminals. His ways are not like ours. Mom is not like the previous mom anymore. She looks weak, lost...
I learn?
I learn the ways to fight back. I learn to stand up for myself.
All those tales my mother used to tell me about him wasn't true at all. 
He's not an angel like my mother used to say he is. He was in the United States for 5 years and when he came back, I learn that he ain't that pretty,lovable angel anymore. He's just plain evil. I learn the right thing to do. I learn the hard way but it doesn't matter. Soon,I learned about revenge.
I protect?
I protect my mother for all I can. I had no chance to protect my sister anymore now that she's gone. Now its just mom and my youngest sister. Mother is suffering from various diseases. Depression and Diabetes,etc. 
She protected me and now its my turn. He 'killed' us and now its our turn! Let him taste his own medicine.
 I protect her from him. I shout back at him if he says anything hurting to her. I stopped him whenever he asked her to do things beyond her capability. Isn't it obvious that she is sick,mourning after her child's death?
 He has no heart. I will always protect her. I noticed that I'm turning to a protective monster myself. 

but,I don't really care. <3

I see my dream coming true because I suffer, I learn and I protect. I'll be capable to do more after I achieve my ambition. I want everybody to witness that moment when I can finally bring my mother out of that roof. This is my promise, I WILL take care of our mother as you wish my dear. Rest in peace. And soon enough, I hope karma comes around in front of my eyes, and when that happens,I hope we have no relation what so ever, father.